They Did Not Help Me
Choose what went wrong. This page will help you preserve the failure, request correction, and decide whether escalation is worth the cost.
Which statement is closest?
You do not have to select the perfect category. Choose the closest one. Every path gives you a specific next action.
It can reduce the number of decisions in front of you. It is not emergency response, legal advice, therapy, or medical care.
Document misgendering, refusal to use an interpreter, inaccessible buildings or forms, failure to account for children or service animals, pressure created by money or transportation limits, and any response that treated psychological, emotional, or financial abuse as irrelevant.
They dismissed or minimized the report
Record the interaction before deciding whether to re-engage.
Keep the content of your report separate from their interpretation.
Use direct quotes only when accurate.
Email, call log, report number, witness, intake form, portal message, or letter.
The record is incomplete or wrong
Request correction without rewriting the entire history.
Quote the record and state the correction.
Do not overload the request with unrelated history.
Different systems use different names.
Your next step
Submit the correction in writing and keep the submitted version.
Use the written requestThey promised action and did nothing
Create a timeline of the promise, deadline, follow-up, and impact.
Include any stated deadline.
Date, method, recipient, and response.
Housing, medical care, custody, school, work, evidence, or reporting options.
Your next step
Send a short status request that references the original promise and asks for a date.
Use the status requestI was blamed, threatened, or retaliated against
Do not treat escalation as automatically safe.
Include who knew about the report and what changed afterward.
Advocate, attorney, union, ombuds, regulator, oversight body, or elected office.
Use written channels and a support person when possible.
Your next step
Use the relevant resource page to find outside advocacy or legal support.
Find outside supportI do not know where to escalate
Map the system before sending another long narrative.
Start with the channel that can change the record or decision.
Check deadlines and jurisdiction.
Public disclosure carries privacy and safety costs.
Your next step
Ask an anonymous question if you need help identifying the correct channel.
Ask anonymouslyI cannot keep fighting this system
Stopping contact can be strategic. Preserve the record before stepping back.
Include submissions, replies, deadlines, and names.
What happened, what remains unresolved, and what would make re-engagement worthwhile.
New evidence, legal help, safer housing, a deadline, or more capacity.
Your next step
You are allowed to stop spending energy on a system that is not changing.
Return to supportKeep the request short
“On [date], I reported [brief description]. I am requesting that the record reflect that the report was made and that [specific incorrect or missing information] be corrected or added. Please confirm the process and provide a written response.”
“On [date], I was told that [promised action] would occur by [date]. Please confirm the current status, the person responsible, and the expected completion date.”
Help them understand what you need quickly
Lead with the clearest facts first
Your emotions matter, and you do not need to hide them. When time is limited, beginning with observable facts can help a hotline, hospital, shelter, attorney, school, or agency understand urgency and route you to the right care faster.
- What happened and when
- Whether the person can reach you now
- Any injuries, threats, weapons, stalking, or forced contact
- Children, dependents, pets, or service animals affected
- Disability, communication, medication, mobility, or sensory needs
- Housing, money, transportation, phone, or identification barriers
- Your name and pronouns, if you want them used
- The specific help you are asking for today
A useful plan can include chosen family, LGBTQ+ safety concerns, older adults, disability-related care, immigration concerns, emotional or psychological abuse, financial control, children, pets, and service animals. Name the barriers that affect what is safe and possible for you.