If someone may be monitoring your device, use a safer phone or computer before contacting services, changing access, or saving information.
Tool 03

I Do Not Feel Safe

Safety planning is not a command to leave. Choose the pressure you are dealing with now, and build around what is actually possible.

Estimated time: 10–20 minutesUpdated July 2026Print-friendly
Choose what fits
Choose what fits today

Which statement is closest?

You do not have to select the perfect category. Choose the closest one. Every path gives you a specific next action.

What this page can do

It can reduce the number of decisions in front of you. It is not emergency response, legal advice, therapy, or medical care.

01

The person can reach me now

Focus on distance, witnesses, exits, communication, and emergency options.

Move toward a place with other people or a usable exit

Avoid rooms with weapons or limited exits when possible.

Contact one trusted person and use a clear request

Example: “Stay on the phone with me” or “Call emergency services if I stop responding.”

Keep keys, phone, medication, and identification within reach

Only if doing so does not increase risk.

02

Children, school, and custody

Keep the plan simple enough for children to follow without making them responsible for adult safety.

Identify who may pick up the child and who may not

Give written instructions to the school when legally appropriate.

Create one age-appropriate emergency instruction

For example, where to go, who to call, or a code word.

Keep copies of relevant court or protection documents accessible

Provide only what the school or caregiver needs.

03

Pets and animal safety

Pets are often used to control movement and delay leaving. Include them in the plan early.

Gather vaccination, ownership, medication, and veterinary records

Photos showing you with the animal may also be useful.

Identify one temporary care option

Trusted person, veterinarian, foster program, shelter, or pet-safe housing.

Prepare a small transport kit

Carrier, leash, food, medication, and contact information.

04

I may need to leave quickly

Build a minimum plan, not a complete relocation plan.

Choose where you would go first

A public place, trusted home, shelter, hospital, police station, or hotel.

Gather only essential documents and medication

Do not delay safety for replaceable property.

Plan transport and one backup option

Car, rideshare, transit, trusted person, taxi, or emergency service.

05

I am staying for now

Staying may be the safest or only available option today. Build around harm reduction.

Identify the safest rooms, exits, and neighbors

Know where you can move if tension escalates.

Keep a trusted person informed

Use a code word or check-in plan if useful.

Protect documents, medication, money, and evidence gradually

Avoid creating a visible pattern that increases risk.

06

Devices or location may be monitored

Do not assume changing a password or turning off sharing is invisible.

Use a safer device to review options

A library, advocate, trusted person, or separate account may be safer.

Document suspicious access before changing it

Preserve devices, sessions, forwarding rules, apps, and location settings.

Make changes in an order that matches your physical safety plan

Digital changes can trigger confrontation or loss of access.

Before you contact a service

Help them understand what you need quickly

Lead with the clearest facts first

Your emotions matter, and you do not need to hide them. When time is limited, beginning with observable facts can help a hotline, hospital, shelter, attorney, school, or agency understand urgency and route you to the right care faster.

  • What happened and when
  • Whether the person can reach you now
  • Any injuries, threats, weapons, stalking, or forced contact
  • Children, dependents, pets, or service animals affected
  • Disability, communication, medication, mobility, or sensory needs
  • Housing, money, transportation, phone, or identification barriers
  • Your name and pronouns, if you want them used
  • The specific help you are asking for today
You do not have to simplify your life to deserve help

A useful plan can include chosen family, LGBTQ+ safety concerns, older adults, disability-related care, immigration concerns, emotional or psychological abuse, financial control, children, dependents, pets, and service animals, and service animals. Name the barriers that affect what is safe and possible for you.